No peace even here

I went to the movies about a month ago. Saw Toy Story 3. Good stuff. No Sweden references, if you're wondering. Although, I did find the blue and yellow in the strangest of places:





The bathroom stall. SCA. Svenska Cellulosa Aktiebolaget. They make paper products. Obviously.

Does this mean the toilet paper is made of Swedish trees? Am I wiping my backside with the Swedish countryside?

I do wonder.

Sweden is in the toilet stall.

Snus, the American way

Snus has made inroads here in the States. It happened last year about this time and it's gaining ground. Camel brought the stuff to America and Marlboro chased after the trend.

I took this pic at a local gas station last December. Note the ad for the Southern Style Chicken Biscuit and the 50 cent hot dog (with large drink purchase, of course). I'm not sure which of the three would do the most damage to your health. Pick your poison.

My co-workers tell me whenever they run into all things Swedish. (Bless them!) Three of them told me about this CBS news report from last April. A twelve minute news report about snus on US television. How... odd. I find it utterly strange that Americans are talking about snus. Don't know why. However, I'm impressed they're not calling it "sn-uuuhhh-s".

Sweden is at the gas station.

VHS Madness

I needed a black sweater for work a few weeks ago. I shopped around for a suitable one. Looked in Kohl's. Looked in Target. I didn't find anything that I liked and I didn't have much time left to look.

It was getting late, but there was still one more place to look - the local Goodwill store. The sweater was for a children's program, so I was going to wear it only once. It didn't have to be anything fancy. They had plenty of black sweaters to choose from and I found one that suited my needs.

Since I was already in the store, I decided to see what books they had for sale. All of the books, music and movies are placed together in one corner. I brushed past the movies in a rush, then my brain suddenly said, "Wait. Stop. Back up."

So, I did. Then it registered. "Fem myror är fler än fyra elefanter."

Is this some type of sleep-deprived Swedish mirage? A trick my mind is playing on me. It has to be. This can't be real. No Goodwill is going to be carrying...

There's Pippi! And Tjorven! And even Bamse!




I nearly lapsed into a state of shock. I finally snapped out of my altered state long enough to count the tapes. Twenty-two in all. Who in their right mind is going to donate 22 Swedish VHS tapes IN PAL FORMAT to a Goodwill in Houston, Texas?

Apparently somebody.

Sweden is at the local thrift shop.

Cheater, Cheater

I ordered a pizza to be delivered for lunch and was waiting for it to arrive. I turned on the TV before it arrived and witnessed a spectacular something to behold.

Melodifestivalen. On my own TV.

Somebody slap me. Eight seconds till Melodifestivalen:




It's Heeeeee-reeee!


No, it wasn't some drug-induced dream or a whacked out signal bouncing off the sun. I paid to get SVT. I'm the proud new owner of a 1 year subscription to SVT World. It's streaming through my Internet connection and it works fantastically well. I've already put it through the wringer since I got it last week and I feel like I've already gotten my money's worth on this first deltävling alone.

I know I'm supposed to only post about Swedish stuff I happen to find, not things I purposely set out to get. That means this post is my first CHEAT. Even though Sweden took over my TV today during MF, it doesn't really count - sadly. But it's fun to see.

Our lovely hosts...



Jessica Andersson pulling out all the MF stops...


One singer, one microphone. Check.
Power ballad. Check.
Dramatic lights. Check.
Emotional performance. Check.
Open-ended lyrics. Check.
Audience waving lights. Check.

A clear winner, people!


The list of competitors and a nice shot of my pizza box just to prove I am in the US with MF on TV:



Yes, the pizza box is nearly as big as my TV. And you thought all Americans had super-sized televisions. Shame on you, you stereotyping Swede you!

And, of course, since no one else is interested in MF but me, I had to find something to complain to when my two favorite picks went to Andra Chansen. I chose this deadly-looking bug sitting on my window. It patiently listened as I jabbered on about the results. I think it's a secret MF fan. It arrived just before showtime and left shortly thereafter.




If this creepy thing is back for deltävling 2, it will only confirm that it is indeed an MF supporter. I hope it does come back because I'm sure I'll have something to complain about after that round is over too.

Happy MF days to everyone watching - wherever you are in the world!

Sweden is on my TV.

Jeans and Genetics

I was at the local Laundromat washing clothes a few weeks ago. I was minding my own business. I sorted the colors and the whites, put in the soap and paid the quarters, then sat down for a quiet thirty minutes of reading. I forgot to bring my book but it wasn't a problem. The Laundromat provided a nice selection of magazines to read. I picked up a recent issue of Time Magazine. The cover looked interesting enough. It was about genetics and environmental factors.

I stood there flipping through the magazine trying to find the article from the cover. I finally found the article and started to read until IT shows up.

There IT is. Again. It's staring at me, stalking me. Like the googly-eyed money pack from the Geico commercials.



Little little Sweden has once again found its way into my even smaller life.

I'm in the local Laundromat for crying out loud. I should be safe from the blue and yellow. Just washing some jeans. Minding my own business. Harmless and boring work. But no, Sweden comes knocking even here.

For those of you who don't know what part is shaded up there at the tippy-top of Sweden, that's Norbotten county. And according to Time Magazine, "Norrbotten is nearly free of human life." I think that's news to the 250,000 people who live there.

If I told you McDonalds couldn't survive in Norbotten county, you might think it was because there weren't enough people to keep them in business, but you would be wrong. It's because Norrbotten's own fast-food chain, Max Burger, whipped McDonalds right out of business - not once but twice. It's one of the only places in the world where McD's couldn't hack it because of local competition.

There's a burger war afoot! You can't have burger wars without people to declare an obvious winner. So while Norbotten county may be a frozen wasteland to Time Magazine, it's anything but for the people who live there and buy those tasty Max Burgers. MMM!!

Oh, and the magazine article was pretty darn interesting too.

Sweden is at the Laundromat.

After Christmas specials

I stopped by my parent's house yesterday for a short visit. While I was there, my mom told me about her morning shopping trip. One of the places she went to was a home furnishings place called HomeGoods. My mom, always the one to find a good sale, made sure she didn't miss a bargain at the markdown Christmas aisle. Here's one of the items she saw on clearance:

Mmmhmm. That's right.

A Julbock. In Texas.

I can only wonder about the hundreds of shoppers who saw this non-native creature during the Christmas season. They're innocently shopping for some nice lights or a few ornaments only to be accosted by this thing. Their first thought must have been something like "What is it and why would I pay that much for some straw and a red ribbon wrapped in the shape of a... uh, what is it? A dog? A deer? I don't know. They sell some hideous stuff in this store."

Before you start choking on your pepparkakor, I will make a true confession. I am the proud owner of a Julbock. I even have tiny julbock decorations for the tree. I thought of giving my bock a name just so I'd have less incentive to want to torch it. But hey, it's tradition. (Having one around, not torching one!) So, looks aside, they have a place in my house during Christmas.

It doesn't show in the picture but it stands a good 3 feet tall (1 meter). It was on major markdown - for $25.

I wouldn't pay the clearance price - and I know what the thing is! Think about all those poor people who have no idea whether it's a horse or a mangled sheep. Why would they pay $50 to have it sit around their house all season when they'd have to explain its origins whenever someone demands they explain the abomination sitting in their living room.

Most people probably thought it was a very expensive chew-toy for their Rottweiler named Fluffy or an overpriced scratching post for their kitty named Killer.

__________________

Now, it's time for the second Swedish Christmas clearance item. There are two. My mom found one yesterday and I found the second one today.

After church, I made a quick stop at the local grocery store (Kroger). I didn't have a list, so I was wandering down the aisles picking up some lunch and a few snacks. After rolling my cart down the candy aisle, I stopped. I looked. My hand covered my heart and my legs nearly gave way. The checker probably thought I had just been been shot. He was almost right.

This is what made me nearly faint:



What is this parallel universe I live in?

A julbock sighting on Saturday.
A Glögg display on Sunday.

I never saw either of these products on the store shelves in December. They only come out in January because no one buys them - except me.

I stood there admiring the display. As I did so, a gentleman waiting in line questioned my reaction. He didn't say anything, but I could see it in his face. "What's so great about this stuff? She's acting like she just won a grand prize". I told him about living in Sweden and the glögg tradition. He acted like he was listening. (I'm never sure if people are actually interested or just acting like it. I've spent so many years jabbering on about Swedish stuff to anyone who will listen. Most of the time, I get an "Uh, that's nice" response and nothing more.) Turns out this guy was listening because he told me he was thinking about buying a bottle but didn't know if it was any good. I told him it was better than having a julbock around. (I didn't really say that but I was tempted). I told him it was good stuff and he bought a bottle. I bet he's drinking some right now.

I liked the bottles in the display. I also liked the ad on the side of the display. It's bright. It's pink. It's misspelled.



Scandi - avian. The N decided it wasn't having any part of this whole glögg sale. Sounds like a new strain of the Avian flu. The Scandi variant. I can't complain. They did spell glögg correctly. It's really the only thing that matters.

This version is non-alcoholic. All the glögg imported to the US seems to be that way. Of course, you can add some to it later. IKEA was selling a Herrljunga 1911 non-alcoholic variety in December. I did buy a few bottles of it but I couldn't write about it here since I can only write about Swedish stuff I happen to run across, not the stuff I am looking for.

The markdown on these bottles is more humane than the julbock price. It's better than humane. It's downright thievery. One bottle - Grandpa Lundquist's Glögg / Traditional Scandinavian Winter Beverage - is a mere $1.50. The entire 26 oz (750 ml) in this glass container with a cute little label is only 10 kr. You can barely buy a banana in Sweden for that.

I proudly present my bounty of bottles:

My stash has an expiration date of March 2011, so I stocked up for next Christmas. I bought 10 bottles for a grand total of $15 or about 100kr. Beat that ICA.

Sweden is in the Christmas markdown aisle.

Sunday Newspaper

I woke up early one Sunday morning sometime last year, made myself some breakfast, then decided to grab the paper from my porch. Yes, I'm one of the few people left on Earth who actually reads a newspaper.

I shuffled to the door in my PJs and found this sitting on my front doorstep:

Not only did I get my newspaper, I also got a gloriously glossy 2009 IKEA catalog. The entire package of paper and catalog must have weighed 10 pounds - at least.

As if I don't already waste enough money at IKEA, now they're taunting and tempting me right from my front door. The curious combination made me pull out my cell phone and snap a pic. I had to document their ingenious attempt to take over the world with with Poäng chairs and Ektorp sofas. They're doing a pretty good job, I'd say.

I was greeted with a repeat performance of newspaper and 2010 catalog this year too. I didn't have time to take a picture of that one. I was too busy circling all the things in the catalog I wanted. Thanks IKEA.

Sweden is on my front porch.